A sorrowful evening / A brighter day

A sorrowful evening / A brighter day

It is a bizarre and horrible thing to experience a death of someone that is close to you, but it is far more bizarre, to experience the death of the someone you were not close to at all, and it is quite a hard, hard thing to understand, how someone you met very briefly, was suddenly not around anyone, and it is unbearably unsatisfying to wonder, why they meant so much to you, how someone you spoke very few words with has made your heart crumble a little.
Have you ever sat and cried and mumbled the words “Why do they mean so much to me?”. Maybe it wasn’t about someone that passed away, or maybe it was, perhaps it was about a friend, or a lover, or a family member, if you will. Hey, I know I have, and I’ve seen plenty of people do it too. I think as human beings, sometimes we fail to recognise what people really mean to us, until perhaps it’s too late, and perhaps you break up, or they move to another country, or they pass away. And it effects us, it really does because it is a bizarre thing to care for someone and to let them go, but it is even more bizarre, how it takes them to go, to realise you care. And hey, it is what it is, such is life. The thing sometimes we need to understand, is when we we care about someone, we should tell them. Tell them right now dammit. But hey, it’s okay if you didn’t, or haven’t, or couldn’t, that’s okay too. Who’s to say you won’t, tell them, sometime in the future maybe? If you can, of course, and if you can’t? Well, personally I ask God to tell them, and if it is his will, it will be done.

My mum was telling a story once, a story she had told many times, to many of her classes, the difference was this time, that I was in her class. She spoke of the bakery close to our house, and how every once in a while she would get a cranberry and brie sandwich, and how she was served by a very pleasant old man who would tell her that he made them himself. Until one day, she went in and he wasn’t there anymore, she heard rumours around the neighbour hood of how the lovely old man passed away. It was a simple story, but that was something my mother and I would get together as a treat, and when she finished telling us about it, I turned to her and said “That’s why we stopped going to the bakery, and getting the sandwiches?” and she said, “Yes darling, I’m sorry, I know I didn’t know him, but it’s not the same, going in there and not seeing him, it is not the same to eat the sandwich knowing it was not made by him.
It was a simple thing he did, making sandwiches for the bakery. But it was more then enough, because he was a a happy soul, so my mother says. And, it is a big deal, he was apart of our community, and what happens in our community effects us all.

There is one more member of our community I would like to honour tonight. Her name was Crissy. She was also a student at my mums work, and as I was working there I would see her a few times a week, and every time I did, she would always be so pleased to see me, and say ” Hey Angel”. She knew my name was Katie, but she decided to call me Angel instead, and I think there’s something to be said about people like that. People who put in extra effort just to make a persons day, and she did, every time, make my day. That’s why I’m saying this tonight, because she deserves to be appreciated, she deserves to have something said about her. I found out last week, that unfortunately she had passed away, and I tried to ignore it, because I barley knew her, it shouldn’t effect me, but I did, because she made an impact on my life, on a day to day basis, and you can’t ignore someone like that, you simply can not try to forget the things people have done to make you smile. They deserve to appreciated, or at least acknowledged.

So, now, if I can leave you with one thought, one thing, is to atleast reach out to one person who has done something to make you smile, even if it was years ago, if you still remeber it, it was obviously important to you. So reach out, to someone who made you smile and they just might do the same back. I wish you good luck.

Thankyou & goodnight.

(This one was for you, Crissy)

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