A delicate frame of mind

A delicate frame of mind

Hey all;

So I would like to think I’ve covered a few different topics throughout my blogs these last few months, from death, to memories, to belated introductions and dedications, but there is something I would really like to share, if that was okay with all of you of course.
I haven’t been updating much lately, or really at all these last couple weeks and I would like tell you why.

Warning: What you’re about to read may contain unnecessary sentences and tend to waffle on a little, but if you could please bare with me, that’d be awesome.

It is an awful feeling when the worries of your mind lure you in you’re own trap, and these past few weeks, I had been captured. My self doubts and worries caught up with me and it took quite a toll on me, to say the least. To anyone who knows me, I can’t say I acted much differently, the difference in my actions were ones that would be noticed only by me. I went about my business as per usual, but at all cost, I seemed to be avoiding what it is I’m actually good at, the things that don’t only give me a sense of accomplishment, but genuinely make me heart sing. I can’t begin to tell you why, we avoid what it is we are talented at when we are at our lowest, I guess for me, because I didn’t feel like I was good enough, but maybe that just me. It is only now that I have removed the fog covering my eyes that I see what an awful perspective that is, to not do something you’re good at, because you just might not be good enough.
How will you learn, if you do not try?

“What if I fall?”
“Oh, but darling, what if you fly?”

The worst part of it all, was looking at other peoples fashion/ photography/ travel/ ‘whatever it is they’re passionate about’ blogs and actually feeling bad about myself. Alas, to say, I compared. (gasp)
And we all know comparing what is yours to what is another’s is simply no good for anyone.
If I was to make a pros and cons list of comparing, it would look like this.

Cons:
You end up feeling bad about yourself
Rationality is thrown out the window (like how long they’ve had they’re blog for, compared to how long I’ve had mine, for example)
You accomplish nothing
You’re spending your focused time on energy on someone else’s creation, when you could be focusing on you’re own
Did I mention that it makes you feel bad about yourself?

Pros:
NOTHING
empty
nada
does not exist
well except for when you’re looking for facts, then it’s suitable, but thats the only time.

You get the point.
So why do you think we do it? As humans, I mean, why do you think we insist on comparing ourselves to one another?
I dare to say it is not in our DNA, nor did our parents raise us to compare our friends toys to ours, we simply just played.
So why is it we insist on punishing ourselves to the greater degree of making our selves feel nothing but atrocious?

The thing about comparing though, my friends, is it, we do not use it to its proper context.

DEFINITION OF COMPARISON: A considerate or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people.

Simply, you look at theirs, you look at yours, you note the things that are different or similar. Except thats not how we use the art form of comparison, is it? In fact, we use it completely out of its context. For we, look at someone else and see how far they have come, we look at someone else and see all their success, we look at someone else and we wonder what it would be like if you were in the same situation. Yet, we forget to look at ourselves, and remind us of how far we have come, we forget to look out ourselves and be proud of our own success, we fail to remember that someone out there, just might be wishing to be in the same situation as we already are.
Thats how we fail to use comparison correctly, because we look, but we forget to check first, we check out the competition before we even recognise the prizes we have already one. I guess one of our fatal flaws, as humans is we forget to be proud of ourselves, too.

Our wins, our victories, our successes, they come in all shapes and sizes, and just because your gold medal is shaped like a statue, it doesn’t mean the person standing next to you success is, it could be shaped like a child, or love, or a dream job. I guess the point that I’m trying to get across to you is, if you take someone else’s shape of success, and put all your accomplishments in it, well it’s simply not going to fit right, is it? No, of course it isn’t, because we all have our own perspective and success and trying to live up to someone else’s dream is, well, belittling to say the least.
So, keep your shape form of success, or change it, and stretch it and fill it, but as you do, do it because you want to, because you need to, don’t mould it into someones else idea of success. Make and create your own idea of success, the same way you make and create your own success.

“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.”

Side note: I should mention, that this right here, this is what I’m good at, but still getting better at, this makes me heart sing in ways I had never heard.
Writing is how I express myself, and it is such a beautiful thing to have something that I can pour my all into. It is one of the only things to come out how I heard it in my head.
“It is well with my soul.”

What about you? What makes your heart sing? What do you keep going back to, despite the worries and doubts? What is it that sits well with your soul?
I’d really love to know, or at least, I’d love for you to know, or go find it, or try it, discover it and cherish it.

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